Like what Pastor Kong has preached last night.
That God wants me to have a deeper change.
Thus, now He's working deeply on me.
This timing is the molding-of-my-character-time.
For the past few days, i don't know what is wrong.
I just don't feel like contacting anyone.
I just want to let everything go.
Thoughts of not going to church anymore, don't want to see the people in church, etc.
I thought that i was affected by brother.
But no, today i then realised that i wasn't affected by anyone.
It's just myself.
As i begin to think of what i've done last night, flaws begin to show.
This is the major one.
I should learn how to shut up. Talk when necessary.
I don't know why. Always, i'm like this.
Talk and talk and talk only.
Like never talk, i'll lose a piece of myself or even die.
I wonder, if i never talk, what will happen?
It's impossible for me to shut up. HOW.
I believe that i will come back stronger.
I will let God do what He wants to me, letting Him have His way in my life.
But for now, i think i need a break. From everything.
I don't know why, i just got disgusted by the people who are living two lives.
It's so different... In church and outside of church.
That person might be leading a group, or not, but.. It's just human nature.
Huge impact.
During cellgroup yesterday, Minqi preached about joy.
I always got the joy in me.
But from the past few days, it was gone.
She preached that Christians are happy people.
I agree, because i was one of them.
BUT. I thought of it. If Christians are happy people, why are there still some who are emo-ing at one corner, having negative thoughts?
Ain't this too contradicting?
Sigh, i don't know. I don't feel the same anymore.
I really need a break. From the world, friends, everything.
Shut up and let me do the things that i want.
